Back to School

When I was younger it seemed fairly easy for me to get a job. Look at the job ads, make a few calls, setup interviews. I usually was completing with four or five other people so my odds were pretty good and before I knew it I had an offer, sometimes two.

But now that I am older people don’t seem so excited to hire me. I have gone on interview after interview. I have been told I am too old, the company is looking to project a younger vibe, they love me but in order to hire me I need a bachelors degree though the degree can be in anything and doesn’t have to actually relate to the job itself I just need one, and there are jobs where over a hundred other people have shown up to fight for one single position.

At this rate I will never find a job, let alone one that can actually support me. That’s why I have decided to go back to school. Not college, can’t afford that nor do I have the time, I need to move out sooner rather then later. But I started looking at vocational schools. They are short term, more reasonably priced and some offer grants.

So here I go, back to school. In a few days I will be starting school to get my CNA (nursing assistance and home health aide). I was able to get a grant that covers part of the cost and in a few weeks I will be ready to take the state exam.

I am both excited and terrified. This has to work, I have to succeed at this. Just the thought of walking into that class room makes me shake. I am sure I will be the oldest one there, I am going to feel like such a failure. The anxiety is overwhelming, so I am trying not to think about it.

Focus on the positive. I will be helping people, this is a new adventure, it’s a good thing. My uniform is pressed and hanging up ready for my first day. My notebook and pens and on the dresser waiting to be filled. Its going to be ok, its going to be ok – just keep saying it.