The Madness

He’s gone off his meds now. He thinks he’s doing better but he’s not. I.m concerned for when it comes time to leave, how will he react. I have already told him my plans, trying to prepare him. First there was a lot of crying and then four hours rambling in circles. Now he acts like everything is fine. I suppose when I am walking out the door I should be ready for anything. Maybe he already has someone lined up to move in once I move out. That will keep him calm, distract him.

I can't have a rational conversation with him because he is not rational. His behavior has been odd lately. He is taking the Keurig coffee cups out of the machine and taking them. I don't know what he does with them. He piles them up on the washing machine and then takes them with him - somewhere. 

He came home from work today, immediately took his shirt off and soaked it in cheap cologne then hid the shirt in his closet. He does this because he doesn't want me to smell "her" on his shirt. He thinks I don't know what he's doing.  

He just sits there so smug, thinking he's gotten away with it. He's so satisfied with himself. Its a game, he's playing the game.

I don't get it, how does he do it. Sitting there acting like everything is wonderful, like he wants our marriage to work knowing he was just with someone else minutes ago. He's good at it. He enjoys the game and he doesn't care who he hurts as long as he's having fun. This is so sick.