Finding Work

The Job Hunt

I am so tired of going on job interviews and having people tell me they really like me, like the experience I have and would like to hire me but unfortunately they aren't going to. I have plenty of experience and know how to do the job, that's not the problem, the problem is I have either worked for myself or the companies I have worked for was too long ago.  They want at least 1 or 2 years of recent experience working for a company. So they pretty much disregard my recent experience because I was self employed and my past company based work history is too far in the past.

They want to be able to call a former boss or co-worker for a reference but the problem is my former boss is me. So, since I don't have the right "kind" of experience I will need a bachelors degree before they can consider me which of course I don't have.

What to Do?

So what am I to do? Getting more education costs thousands of dollars and takes a long time both of
which I don't have. So I have no choice but to keep on the hunt hoping to catch a break.

They say when life gives you lemons you make lemonade but without any sugar all you are left with is sour water. Hopefully I will find some sugar soon because I am tired of drinking sour water.

A Rose in the Hand, a Knife in the Heart

The Lazy Cheater

It's bad enough when your husband is cheating on you but even worse is when he adds insult to injury. He thinks that if he occasionally shows up with a little token of love it will appease me in some way. Make me think he is only thinking of me.

But when he gives me a card that talks about him being sorry and wanting to work on our relationship and grow stronger together yet at the same time, in the same transaction buys a mushy card for his girlfriend, he obviously isn't thinking of only me. Its like he is throwing me a bone to shut me for a while and at the same time letting HER know he's really only thinking of her.

Seriously dude! At least make two separate trips to the store, you lazy cheater! You don't even have it in you to make a special trip for each of us. I seriously would love to know what the conversion in his head is. "I think I will buy my wife a nice card to express how sorry I am for being such a ... Oh look! this would be a nice card for my girlfriend.

I wonder how she would feel if she knew about my card and that both our cards were purchased at the same time.

No Cross Contamination

If you are going to cheat at very least do not cross contaminate your wife and your girlfriend. Don't be lazy, make two trips or at least make two separate transactions. And don't be so dumb at to stuff the receipt in your pocket and then put your pants in the laundry. You do know the receipt has the ISBN number and name of the cards on it. It was very easy to go to the store, find the section with that line of cards in it, then it was just a matter of looking for the matching ISBN number on the back of the card.

Can a Narcissist Truly Love Someone?

Are Narcissist Capable of Love?

I recently read an article about whether a narcissist can really love a person. In order to really answer this question you have to understand what it means to love someone.

What is Love?

I suppose the term love has a different meaning for each person but for me, if you love someone, truly love someone, you put them before yourself. Not that that is always right it just happens. They are the first one you think of. When there is only one piece of chocolate cake left you offer it to them.You think of their happiness and what you can do to support that. You consider their thoughts and feelings and value them as much as your own. You cherish and honor your relationship and you always have their back. Sounds wonderful doesn't it?

What Research Says

According to the article, a narcissist always puts themselves first. The only opinion that matters is their own and rarely do they ever think of someone else's feelings. I would like to be able to disagree with these statements but I can't. Not valuing me was the topic of our last "discussion." When I am talking with someone, right in the middle of a sentence, my husband will start speaking over me, cutting me off. He feels what he has to say is more important and what I am saying has no value. I can't tell you how demeaning this is. I try to stand there stone faced acting like it doesn't bother me but inside I am fighting back the tears. When I offer my thoughts or feelings they are quickly discarded. As a matter of fact when I try to express my feelings or being upset about something he just gets mad and yells at me for upsetting him with negative talk. Which is often followed up with a week long silent treatment. Which in reality is more like a mini vacation then a punishment.

What's the Payoff

Most of the time whenever he does something nice for me my first question is what does he want, what is the payoff for his kindness? I really want to believe he does things for me out of the kindness of his heart but sadly most of the time he proves me wrong.

The Bottom Line

I guess the article is correct. No, a narcissist is not capable of truly loving a person. They may feel love towards someone but the only one they really love is themselves. I think my husband has love towards me, and is attached to me. Likes having me around mostly because he doesn't like to be alone plus he likes having me take care of him. But when all is said and done, it's always him first.