Can a Narcissist Truly Love Someone?

Are Narcissist Capable of Love?

I recently read an article about whether a narcissist can really love a person. In order to really answer this question you have to understand what it means to love someone.

What is Love?

I suppose the term love has a different meaning for each person but for me, if you love someone, truly love someone, you put them before yourself. Not that that is always right it just happens. They are the first one you think of. When there is only one piece of chocolate cake left you offer it to them.You think of their happiness and what you can do to support that. You consider their thoughts and feelings and value them as much as your own. You cherish and honor your relationship and you always have their back. Sounds wonderful doesn't it?

What Research Says

According to the article, a narcissist always puts themselves first. The only opinion that matters is their own and rarely do they ever think of someone else's feelings. I would like to be able to disagree with these statements but I can't. Not valuing me was the topic of our last "discussion." When I am talking with someone, right in the middle of a sentence, my husband will start speaking over me, cutting me off. He feels what he has to say is more important and what I am saying has no value. I can't tell you how demeaning this is. I try to stand there stone faced acting like it doesn't bother me but inside I am fighting back the tears. When I offer my thoughts or feelings they are quickly discarded. As a matter of fact when I try to express my feelings or being upset about something he just gets mad and yells at me for upsetting him with negative talk. Which is often followed up with a week long silent treatment. Which in reality is more like a mini vacation then a punishment.

What's the Payoff

Most of the time whenever he does something nice for me my first question is what does he want, what is the payoff for his kindness? I really want to believe he does things for me out of the kindness of his heart but sadly most of the time he proves me wrong.

The Bottom Line

I guess the article is correct. No, a narcissist is not capable of truly loving a person. They may feel love towards someone but the only one they really love is themselves. I think my husband has love towards me, and is attached to me. Likes having me around mostly because he doesn't like to be alone plus he likes having me take care of him. But when all is said and done, it's always him first.